What your favorite Operating System says about you

Hello mate. I have some sad news for you. It might shock you, so please sit down. Ready? Good. The shocking news is:

Your favorite Operating System sucks

1. Windows

So you use Windows? Good for you. You know how to use a computer. Feeling really proud of yourself, aren’t you? Who’s a big boy? Who just learned to use Facebook? You are. Yes, you are.

And what do you do on your computer? Spend all your time moaning about how nothing works ever since you downloaded Spammy Smiley Toolbar 9000 (TM). It’s not your fault though, it’s the fault of everyone around you. All you want to do is download every toolbar created by every spammer ever, and the cruel world won’t let you. Poor you.

The type of people who use Windows: People who can’t use anything else, because they are too cheap to buy a Mac and too stupid to learn Linux.

How Windows users see themselves:


How the rest of the world sees them:


2. Linux

Ooooh! Look who uses the cool operating system. The one where you have to type a two hundred word command line command to do the simplest thing:

sudo apt get install install-this-damn-thing-so-I-can-actually-do-some-work-rather-than-just-staring-at-the-screen

Because Real Men( and Real Women) use the command line, even if it takes ten times as longer to do anything.

What do you mean you can’t spend forty minutes reading the Man page?  (The man page is the manual page, for those of you who have a life). The man page contains everything you need to know, written by someone who has no ideas how real humans think, but who did once see a human from ten miles away (when he left his mother’s basement for five minutes).

The type of people who use Linux: Passive aggressive nerd types, who feel they have to prove they are better than everyone by continually telling people to RTFM, because every question can be answered by the manual. Even the Bible has a man page.

How Linux users see themselves:


How the rest of the world sees them:


3. Mac (OS Whatever)

Oh wow, you have a Mac. You probably expect me to be impressed.

You probably spend all your time sitting in Starbucks, buying one cup of coffee and using their wifi for free for the whole day. You’ve probably been working on your “book”, for which you have written three pages in five years. Or you are a “graphics artist”, and you can prove it by the image where you photoshopped yourself onto Angelina Jolie’s body.

You probably drink herbal tea and eat organic food, paid for with food stamps (because you used your whole salary to buy a Mac).

The type of people who use Mac: The type who think they are better than you because they paid twice as much as a computer. Who are forced to join a cult every time they buy their precious Mac.

How Mac users see themselves:


How the rest of the world sees them:


4. Unix/BSD

Hey grandpa! Can you hear me? Have you taken your medication yet?

How Unix users see themselves:


How the rest of the world sees them:



Your Favorite Programming language sucks

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7 thoughts on “What your favorite Operating System says about you”

    1. Yes, if Starbucks created an OS, I would certainly use it, as long as it came in Vendi, Tall and Grande versions

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